I've got some imperfections.

I am quite frustrated right now about a number of things.
I am going to be extremely busy next semester, and my Dad keeps pushing to find someone to date. Yes, okay, so what, I've had love before, and okay, that's great my sister is going to get married, but I don't have time for that. I don't want that right now; the stress of being tied down to someone when I barely have any time for them. It was different when I was at FLCC. I didn't have an internship, a job, and I wasn't in my senior year at a high-ranked college. Also, my Dad is going to find me and my friend a place to live for next semester apparently. I don't know why but I don't believe him. He's finally home after a month of not being home, and he's all "So I hear there's guys interested in you." I don't know why he even cares since he usaully hates all the guys I date. God, typing this is making me want to cry with tears of anger and frustration. It also doesn't help that, o shit, I'm the only single girl in my family. Wow, I just realized that. Yay for being a failure!
Of course I like people, but know that nothing will happen right now due to me being so busy. Here's an excerpt from a rant I wrote back in October::
"Why are you people so closed-minded? Why do my gay friends have to live in fear? Why do my transgender friends have to live in fear? Because it’s against what some people think is “right”, is “normal.” Why do they think that? Because our fucking COUNTRY is based upon Christian morals and ideas. We try so hard to separate church and state when it’s with us all the time. It haunts us everyday. When we hand the cashier a 10-dollar bill it says, “In God We Trust.” Trust in God? Why would I do that when I don’t even know if the fucker is real? Why do we females have to stay silent? Stay at home, do the fucking dishes, cook, and take care of kids? Why must we get married? Why do we have to have kids? Because if you don’t do these things you’re seen as a failure. Oh, and now, if you don’t have a degree higher then a bachelor’s you’re looked down on that too. So, okay, let me get this straight. We’re supposed to graduate from high school, go to college because it’s the right thing to do, get a 4-year degree in something, find a husband throughout all that, get married, have kids and get a career going in-between all that? Yeah, sounds like a fucking blast. It isn’t fun. College is stressful. I’m in my senior year right now, being 2*-years-old, and I have to admit, the only reason why I wanted to get married was because my parents got married young, and so did his. We thought it was the right thing to do."
It's just very frustrating when everyday I see and hear this shit as to how I should date someone. "At least someone!" NO. Fuck off and kindly die thank you. I'll do it when the time is right. Maybe my Dad thinks I'm going to be alone this his Mom was. HA no. Just give me some goddamn time to figure shit out. And by shit I mean not be so busy that I barely have time to sleep, okay?
On the a lighter note, it's Christmas Eve. I'm not all "bahumbug," I actually enjoy this time of year, minus working in retail, the whole holiday thing and the snow. It's mostly because our family gets together. I never see my family, and with my Mom and Dad moving out of state this is our last "End of the year" with them. Eh. that sounds stupid, I guess I'll just say "Holiday Season." Whatever. I doubt next year I'm going to have enough money to go anywhere. I barely have any right now. We'll see I guess.
Also, it gives me an excuse to get drunk around my family, since my family is getting drunk as well. Love it love it love it.
Well, I'm gonna get going, I've ranted enough for the day.
Happy Holidays, or whatever.

A 2am Post.

Eve nif it says a different time when I post this, it's 2am and I cannot sleep. I went to bed around 8-9-10pm with a headache and now I'm wide awake. It's more closer to 3am, but eh.
I'm back into therapy pretty much every week. It's okay, nothing special. What's helping me out is the fact that Mom and I have been getting along much better now. I just hope this keeps up.
What I do not appericate from her is the fact that she's still kicking me out, therefore I will have no where to live during spring semester. I've been trying to save up some money, but things like my car and food keep getting in the way. And now my medicine, which is insanely expensive is racking up a bill. These pills I take can cost up to 300 dollars!!! That's a fucking lot of money, okay? I don't have that just for one month of medication, so my psychatrist told me to get free samples once I get off my health care so I can still take my medicine cause... well damn.
I was at Buffalo Wild Wings tonight and they played Porcupine Tree. I cannot tell you how happy that made because I fucking love Porcupine Tree.
I have an internship next semester most likely, so we'll see what happens there as well.
I wish I had something to write about right now. I feel my head i starting to throb again, which means it wants to go back to bed. I wish I could post a writing or something, but they've been so personal lately that I really don't feel like sharing... for now at least.
And now to be completely random...
It's funny because I thought I knew this one person so well. Now, I feel like I don't even know who they are. I feel like it's my fault, when really it's theirs. They're the one who have changed into this. I miss them so much.

Boredom?

Now that the semester is pretty much to a close, I must admit that I have no clue what to do. I want to relax, but I don't want to watch t.v., I don't want to read, I don't want to watch any of my movies... I guess it just feels weird to actually not be stressed out.
I've got a few writings I'm editing right now, and a few more on my mind to start, but I don't know if I should write even tonight. I have work tomorrow at 9am, but I still want to be productive. This includes not going to bed until a few hours from now.
This is one way how I'm like my Dad is that I cannot not do anything. I have to be doing something all the time. I've been told by multiple people that I should go on a vacation. Personally, with that money I could finish my left arm tattoo.
I kind of don't know why I'm typing this entry up, since I have nothing really to say other than I'm bored for the first time in months. I don't know what to do with myself.

This is the most pointless entry yet. I'm going to go write.