I Told Myself

I told myself I was going to try and not go online today; not even turn the computer on, but here I am typing after a day full of reading, getting coffee and contemplating whether I should go on the computer at all.
I'm not even on my own computer, I'm on my mothers.
I just got off of spring break. I didn't do anything special for spring break besides errands, shopping, a hint of partying and sleeping; lots of that.
After a late night food run with the boy last night, and some heavy talking in the car about our futures, it has accured to me that a lot of people think I am going to get the career I want. I was even told today that with the amount of drive I have I will successfully get it.
Other people think I will, I am nervous about it.
Maybe it's because I know that someday I will probably start a family, and the career I want might but that in danger, but I really want to help people and stop hate in this world. I tried nursing, I tried psychology, and none of that stuff appealed to me. English has and rhetoric has as well. Especially rhetoric. Words have such a high impact on every day life. How you choose to say words, type words, even define words has a great effect on people. Like the word effect, should it be affect or effect? What is the difference? That's where vocabulary comes in. If I were to say vocab instead of vocabulary how would you percieve me?
Rhetoric is an extremely powerful tool today in our society. If you know me, and I've probably said it before, but I want to get my masters in rhetoric and composition. Picking apart the logos, ethos and pathos of a desired text, for example the text of the "Letter from Birmingham City Jail" written by Martin Luther King Jr.; one could write a book about just that letter because it has been said that it is one of the most important documents of the civil rights movement. Read it sometime, it's worth it.
And then there's the people saying how Obama's January 20th speech was no good, when really if you look at it and pick it apart it's quite a good speech. When you hear someone speak, it has a different effect then reading what they're saying. Going to MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech, I read it at first, and was like "okay, so he repeats this and does this" but when I heard it, watched it, followed along with it, it became an extremely powerful speech.
I swear to god I had a point with this. Oh, yeah...
A lot of people think rhetoric is bad. It's not. Don't listen to what the news say about "there was some rhetoric in the white house today" when it happens every day. Not all rhetoric is bad. I mean hell it's happening right now, I'm telling my point about how rhetoric is useful and how I want to get into it as a career. It happens to us without us even knowing. And now I'm stopping :)
The composition part would deal with how things are structured; how rhetoric is successfully structured in a speech, in a paper, what have you.
It hit me today, again, that I am graduating this year. I have my associates and soon I will have my bachelors. Damn. The closer graduation gets, the more it hits me. Maybe I'll actually cry at this graduation. I did not cry at my high school or 2-year graduation because I was excited to move on. Even though I am excited for what the future holds, it's just the real world is coming up fast.
It is a beautiful day out in upstate. School starts up tomorrow, and this has been a fabulous break from my work. The work will get harder though as the semester draws nearer. Final exams, papers, projects will soon take over my life and my very relaxing week, which I have taken for granted, I will long for. Days of just waking up and lounging in bed for an hour, cuddling, will be gone. Alarm clocks will rule my life, whether waking up or just napping. My diet will be out of whack, living on espresso shots and sugar, and I will long for being able to sit down and write what I want, not what other people want me to.
Ah college life, how I'm going to miss you.