Sunday.

It's daylight savings today. Going to bed at 3am, when it felt like 4am was not bad. I got up around 9, and I acutally went to church with my parents.

It was my pastor's last day today, so i went because I have grown up with him. He's an extremely nice guy, and as I was saying goodbye, his wife also talked to me. I don't think I've ever talked to her alone before.

We all know how I feel about church, and religion in general, so as I was sitting there I was looking around at the children. Some of them were coloring, others were silent and following along, and others were just being plain out braty. I saw them sing along with the hymns, say the prayers which they have been told to say, and watched them as they left. It's been awhile since I've been to church, but I think that this trip is the last time I will ever set foot in a church.

These children are our future, sadly. I was looking through the bullention and I was reading one of the lessons from today. It's from Relevations and deals with how the Angels were crying because they were praising God. The last quote from the reading was, "And God will wipe away every tear that falls from their eyes." I leaned over to Mom and asked her why they were crying. She replied, "Because they went to a better place." "So, wouldn't they be happy? If they were tears of joy, why would God be wiping them away? Why are they tears of sorrow if they're in a better place?" She was silent. This shit makes no sense.

If I were to ever have a kid, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny would not be in our tradition. Why would I lie to my kids about imaginary things? I would not take them to church. My child would not have a religion. If they wanted to worship God though I would not stop them.

Things may change, but I doubt they will. As time has passed, I have come to the realization that I will probably never be engaged ever again, or give birth to any kids. I was telling my mother this and she snaps back, "so get a dog, or a cat." "Mom, I'm really allergic..." "Well, get a fish." "But they are boring." I know my Mom has a sense of my growing anger, which has grown frightenly high over the past few weeks, and she's probably afarid that I'm going to yell at her, or that we'll get into a fight. I told my Father about how she doubts my sister and I will get into grad school after our bachelors, and he told me, "she doesn't know what it's like in college." Damn straight she doesn't know. It just worries me that my own Mother doens't have faith in her daughters. Fuck that.

I also have been told that I have an attitude problem, which made me laugh. I'm sorry I call people out when they're being douchebags and I tell the truth. Maybe that's why no one wants to date me, because I speak my mind and girls aren't supposed to do that. All guys ever want from me is a lay.

Oh yeah, I find this amusing. My Mother during church started to cry, so I leaned over and hugged her. She didn't hug back but I thought she might enjoy the comfort. Over the past week, I have acquired a knee injury and as I was hopping over to sit down at the kitchen table, and in the process I hit my knee on the table extremely hard. She just stood there and looked at me as I was trying to not cry out in pain. "Attitude Check: Fuck You."

I cannot wait to see what happens on Tuesday. I have two seperate plans for whoever wins. I'm not going to jinx anything, or spoil anything, but I'm am anxiously looking forward to see if America is really as retarded as I think it is. Don't make me do what I have planned for one of them.

I have ignored my homework all weekend, so I think it's time to start paying attention to it. I have no clue even what any of it is, but I think being on pain medication will make it much more amusing.